Perspective
by Aliemah
Summary: Garrus can't figure out why Shepard has been avoiding him. Whens he shows up in the main battery, it all becomes clear. One shot story featuring some past Shenko and slight Shakarian. Also posted on tumblr.


_Author's Note: Wrote this on tumblr, figured I could post it here as well. One shot story featuring some past Shenko and slight Shakarian, hope you enjoy!_

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There were a lot of things that Garrus was good at. Namely calibrating weapons, and putting holes in people's heads. Occasionally, he would offer up some decent advice. But what Garrus wasn't good at was talking about himself. So, whenever the topic came up, he tried to change the subject as best he could.

Now, when it came to Shepard… She got him talking like he was getting paid for it. Every stupid story, every detail of that stupid story. He talked because her face lit up when he talked. He knew she needed the break from all the stress from the Collectors - he did too. And if she could forget just for a few minutes that she had to save the galaxy, then damn it, he'd keep talking and continue to embarrass himself. She never left without a smile on her face - he always came up with some excuse to keep her until she was smiling.

So, when she stopped coming around so much, of course Garrus got worried. She still asked him to come along on missions - she needed someone to watch her six while she charged in like an idiot. She would sit near him at dinner, and never say a word. Shepard just gazed down into her food, hand propping up her head.

She didn't look worn out tonight - the circles under her eyes actually seemed to finally be fading. He could see faintly in the way she carried herself that there was some amount of stress building up. He wanted to ask, but it seemed inappropriate with so many others around. In fact, all the others were joking around, having a good time. This seemed more and more like a personal problem.

He had finished eating long ago. But he sat there, hoping she might want to talk. Jack had called his name to get his opinion on some matter, and of course that got him involved in the conversation. In the next ten minutes, somehow, Shepard had slipped out of the area unnoticed. Or maybe someone had noticed and hadn't cared to mention it.

Garrus just wanted to talk to her - find out what was wrong. They were friends, weren't they? He'd hoped that he had made it clear she could tell him anything. He wanted her to come to him when she was having trouble. For as much work as she was putting in for everyone else, she certainly deserved to have someone else to lean on every now and then.

He excused himself and went back to the main battery. He was surprised to see her in there, curled up against the corner on the crate. Shepard had put on her heavy N7 jacket and was holding her legs tightly. And her cheeks were wet. He silently shut the door, not making a big deal about it. Though he locked it, as well.

"Hey, now." he stepped over. Without thinking, he sat beside her, and pulled her from the wall to lean on him instead. Instead of just sitting there, she moved, and placed herself in his lap, curling up even more if it were even possible. She said nothing, so he didn't either. He put both arms around her once she rested her head against his chest. Garrus wasn't even entirely sure if this was helping her, or if she wanted this right now. But since she made no complaint, he assumed she didn't mind.

Maybe she just needed a shoulder to cry on. Quite literally.

Her scent was surrounding him, and soon it was all he could smell. A soft hint of something sweet was being overwhelmed by dirt, sweat, and the residue of gunfire. Unpleasant to others, but comforting to those used to fighting. She'd calmed down considerably in the past ten minutes, so he loosened his hold a bit so she could move if she wanted.

She didn't move.

He cleared his throat gently. Shepard looked up, drying her eyes. They were red, where they should have been white. The deep green of her eyes seemed to pop. They were a nice color.

"I'm sorry. I meant to go up to my cabin, but…"

"You don't have to apologize to me." He lowered his voice, concern lining his features. "I've been worried about you. Are you okay?"

"I like to think I am. But the truth is that I'm a damn mess." she lowered her head, and let the curtain of black hair fall in her face. The red lights in the room were reflecting nicely off of it. "I can't stop thinking about what Kaidan said to me on Horizon."

That alone made Garrus feel like an idiot. He should have known that was what had been bothering her. It was after that mission that she'd stopped coming to see him every day. That had been, what, a week ago now? He knew that she'd been close with Kaidan. How close, he couldn't say, but they had obviously cared for each other enough that what had occurred had been a major setback in their relationship.

"He shouldn't have said most of what he did." Garrus said, after some thought. Kaidan seemed to have ignored what she'd said, and had been focused on the insignia branded on her squadmates' chest.

"No… He had a point." she said. "I haven't been myself lately. I actually caught myself earlier thinking, _why do I even need all these people? I'm not even sure I can trust them._ But you know who I was thinking about when I said that?" He shook his head, "I was thinking about Samara, Thane, Grunt… Even Mordin." she scoffed at herself. "I never take them on missions. I take you, and Jack, every time, no questions asked."

"So you don't trust them right now," he said, looking at her, "that can be fixed. It doesn't mean that you're turning into a xenophobe just because you don't trust someone you've only just met." He knew that's what she was thinking, or at least that was the direction her thoughts were going.

"Kaidan was still right about me being a traitor. If the Alliance would just give me a ship, reinstate me, I'd gladly walk away from Cerberus, even if they have all these resources. I haven't even tried going to the Alliance, though, not once." Her voice was growing softer and she was leaning against him even more. "Because I'm in too deep with Cerberus, the Alliance will never back me, now."

"You don't know that. You're trying to save humanity, no one can really say that what you're doing is evil, or traitorous."

She pushed herself away gently, and stood up, pacing.

"But," she sighed heavily, "I don't believe in anything I'm doing anymore, Garrus. I don't even know where the hell I should be going for my next mission half the time. All I seem to be doing is running around for everyone else, when I should be focused on the Collectors."

"Shepard." he stood up, calm.

"What?" she snapped a little. She looked shocked when he was standing, and she actually stopped walking.

"I don't think you're really angry, or upset at Kaidan right now. I think you're just working yourself a little too hard and burning out. You've already made so much progress, you just need to look at it. It's alright to take a little break. And once this is over, you can go back to the Alliance. Smooth things over with Kaidan." he put both hands on her shoulders. And then something hit him as he watched her whole body relax.

"This is why I come to talk to you." she gave the tiniest smile. "You see right through me."

"I just have a different perspective." he said, dropping a hand. He was suddenly very nervous. He was hoping she didn't pick up on it.

"A taller one." she laughed, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Thank you for talking with me."

"Any time."

He watched her walk away, smiling despite having red, puffy eyes. He'd succeeded in his goal of finding out what was bother her, and didn't let her leave without a smile on her face. But now he was confused. He was sure his feelings were starting to run a little deeper than just being her friend. Garrus would need to be careful, or he might lose the one good thing he'd had in his life since leaving for Omega.


End file.
